Každý to zná. Přijdete někam a po vás vstoupí rodič s dítětem a první, co slyšíte, je: „Jak řekneš? Jak se říká?“ V tu chvíli se možná cítíte nepříjemně spíše vy než dítě, které mlčí, protože celým tělem cítíte tu sílu nátlaku dospělého, který se snaží z dítěte dostat pozdrav. Ale zaměstnejme se na chvíli otázkou: je tento přístup vůbec správný?
Zdraví, loučení nebo podávání ruky jsou dovednosti, které se učíme postupně. Někdy ale zapomínáme, že děti nejsou malí roboti, kteří mají na každý povel připravenou tu “správnou” odpověď nebo reakci. Místo toho vědomě i nevědomě reagují na prostředí, kde se nachází. Pokud dítě vstoupí do prostoru a nerozhodne se okamžitě pozdravit, může to znamenat, že si potřebuje ověřit, zda je situace bezpečná a nehrozí mu jakékoliv nebezpečí. Jasně, pro vás je to známé prostředí, kde se cítíte dobře, ale pro dítě to může být prostředí nové.
Často tento jev v dospělých vzbuzuje pocit, že jde o nevychovanost. Reakce rodičů situaci často zhoršují, když za dítě odpovídají a dodávají: „To je náš stydlín. Nebo. On to ještě neumí.“ Místo toho, aby dítě mělo možnost se rozhodnout, zúží se jeho projev na určitý štítek vlastního pochybení nebo odporu, který si může nést dlouhé roky.
Klíčem k tomu, aby si děti osvojily zdravení a další společenské dovednosti, je jít jim příkladem. Když někam vstoupíte, pozdravte jako první. Dítě vás bude sledovat a bude se učit, že takové chování je běžné a pokud budete vy ve zdravení si jistí, tak i dítě z vás bude cítit, že pozdravit je bezpečné.
Pokud se nerozhodne přidat, není třeba ho násilně nutit. Má totiž právo na své tempo a pocit bezpečí. Jestliže se dítěti někdo nelíbí nebo mu prostě nechce věnovat pozornost, je to zcela v pořádku.
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