Každý rodič už nejspíš zažil situaci, kdy dítě nespolupracovalo. Může to být proto, že chtělo jít jinou cestou, odmítlo uklidit pokoj nebo prostě nechtělo dělat to, co jsme po něm chtěli. V těchto chvílích je snadné sklouznout k nařizování nebo k frázím, které si pamatujeme z našeho vlastního dětství, jako například: “Protože jsem to řekl!” Ale co kdybychom zkusili něco jiného?
Děti mají přirozený instinkt utíkat od toho, co nechápou nebo z čeho mají strach. Pokud jim něco nařídíme bez vysvětlení, je pravděpodobné, že to vyvolá odpor nebo frustraci. Tato reakce ale není projev neposlušnosti, je to způsob, jakým se děti snaží chránit. Bohužel, mnoho z nás rodičů nevědomky opakuje vzorce, které jsme sami zažili v dětství, aniž bychom je přehodnotili.
Pokud dětem nedáme prostor pochopit “proč” za našimi žádostmi, může se jejich odpor k těžkým situacím jen prohlubovat. Děti už od útlého věku mají schopnost porozumět důvodům, ale potřebují, aby jim někdo dal šanci.
Místo toho, abychom jen nařizovali, můžeme si udělat chvíli a vysvětlit dítěti, co se děje. Díky tomu může situaci nejen lépe pochopit, ale také cítit, že je respektováno a milováno.
Například když byly mému synovi dva roky, šli jsme na procházku se ženou a s jeho mladší sestrou, které se udělalo špatně. Musel jsem ji vzít domů v nastalé situaci já, ale syn chtěl, abych zůstal s ním. Místo toho, abych mu prostě řekl: “Ne, musíš jít s maminkou,” jsem si k němu klekl, vysvětlil situaci a dal mu na výběr. Mohl jít s maminkou na hřiště, nebo se všichni se mnou vrátit domů. Nakonec si vybral, že půjde s maminkou, zamával mi a v klidu odešel. To je síla vysvětlení.
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